Cut My Hand With a Chainsaw ~ Tore it Up in the Jungle ~ Found the Thrill ~ Heard Kind Words ~ & a Cannabis Seminar*

My Caribbean Brothers Joe and Ray*

They had my back about it all man~




















In the jungle today, I gouged a wound in my hand with the chainsaw. My good buddy Steve Prosterman bought a new chainsaw for me to be unleashed with. I broke 2 of them already (or maybe 3 or 4). So this new chainsaw was about 5 times more powerful. I cut my hand open with it. It made a boomerang in my hand. It thought that was symbolic because I left home once to chase certain things, and now, like a boomerang, I am coming back to the Yellow Brick Road: Home.

What was such a beautiful out of this world memory for me in his jungle I work at, is that I cut down the hugest tree in his whole exotic forest. It was a tree that was so tall it must have been several centuries old. Once I fell it, it opened the whole jungle to a gust and sudden rush of wind. I watched it timber, then through the ravine, the element of wind was released into an enclosed jungle. It was so magical and awesome. I'll never forget it maan*

Then me and my bro Joe went on a cruise through the island. We listened to The Thrill. It is the anthem of my Caribbean Dreams. I realized after letting go, that once closure came, so did everything else. Maybe letting go of everything means that you might actually have everything* As I was by myself (not really literally) it dawned on me how many things I made happen. You win some, you lose some... But I guess you live to travel and give again. Everyday is something I am thankful for because I still remember that I am not even actually supposed to be alive... I mean, I am, of course; Meaning it just must not of been my time. But I am only here because I made the choice to be. The day of my accident, if I would have chose to lay there and suffer after hitting the trees that hard, I would have passed on in 15 minutes. If I would have been transferred to the hospital I was literally saved at in an ambulance, I would have died on I-5 on 4 wheels. If it wasn't for me snowboarding down that mountain after I didn't even know where I was once I hit the trees, and if it wasn't for the helicopter Paul called for life-flight, I would not be here right now. I would have never discovered Ireland... Or a friend... Or the things I had to feel here in the Caribbean. People still ask me about my scar and my tattoo all the time. There has been so many people who have made it a point to go out of their way to say that they will miss me so much.

It reminds me of a dream I had the morning I seen someone for the first time back home. In that dream she said she missed me and she was wearing red and leaning on my shoulder with a truthful smile that indicated a happiness that seems vague and vivid. She was wearing red, which indicated something in my interpretations that I am choosing to keep to myself. Something that may present truth or not in times soon enough. We'll see.

But for the people here who ask me when I am going home, many of them wish me to stay. I have too many medical problems and this place ain't home in my eyes. It is a Paradise to come back to soon enough. I ran into Gemma again, she seen my internet book for the first time. A lot of people have at this point and their first description is the word 'interesting.' I seem to hear that a lot. She said she is going to show all of her friends in Dominica because she believed it to be really cool and she was thrilled to see that I put how we met in my internet book about my island life. It is everything people in Dominica would love a lot.

I gave Vernel a post card of the beaches I'm from. She was always a very sweet woman who exerted kind words and genuine concerns in times that despair was clearly in my eyes. Sweetness and concern are 2 things that only someone like me would appreciate immensely. After getting food, I saw a homie here who had a long sad face.

"Rashad, whats wrong man? I see you looking solitary and sad over here. What's happenin'?"

"I lotta shits goin on maan."

"I know, I can tell. Thats why I'm here."

He smiled. Then I cracked a lotta hilarious humor and talked about 2pac and one of our Professors I imitate really well. He went from being sad to smilin' in an instant. I like it when people smile after havin' been sad. I say that for myself as well.

Somethings in my past life I can't shake. Home is just days away and it seems that I am just as nervous as I am comfortable. I'm just as enthralled as I am overwhelmed.

Now~ :)

My brother Joe from Orlando had a psychology presentation to do in his class. He chose to do a presentation on medical marijuana. I was his show and tell!! See, I represented Oregon and my card and gave a seminar in the class about my medical conditions. About how I eat 3 drugs and use one medicinal herb. And every single one of them are documented and validated through The Department of Human Services, and afforded by the Oregon health plan, which is some of the best medical coverage possible for someone like me. This show and tell was hilarious! Me being a cannabis activist at the same time I was bein' a scholarly comedian, these people got a kick out of it. I explained every medical benefit that outweighs most pharmaceutical concoctions that have adverse side-affects. They were very entertained and just as equally curious. Before this though, Joe was so pumped because I brought a lot to the table for his presentation so much that his excitement was something he rehearsed before class.

He says, "I'm gonna play a Slightly Stoopid video to set the mode, then I am gonna hand out the flier I made with all medical truths according to federal sources, then I am gonna read my paper, then I'm gonna introduce you and you gonna take the floor for it aite? Like, 'This is Justin Fuckin' Crum.' Those was his exact words. God, he was pumped for me man. That was quite a moment. It gave good flashbacks of my past life last spring with the girl I really liked a lot... Lady Nina*